Newswriting should be short, sweet and to the point. That means reporters and editors alike must cut unnecessary words from every sentence. Here are some before and after examples of sentences that have been trimmed:
BEFORE: All the residents managed to escape in time without being injured.
AFTER: The residents escaped unhurt.
BEFORE: It is suspected that drug dealers were the cause of the blaze.
AFTER: Drug dealers may have set the blaze.
BEFORE: According to fire Capt. Bill Jackson, the fire started at about 9:45 p.m. and was brought under control by the fire department within approximately 30 minutes.
AFTER: Fire Capt. Bill Jackson said the fire started at about 9:45 p.m. It was under control in about 30 minutes.
BEFORE: Mayor John Smith says there is a $20 million gap in the city budget between how much money there is and how much money is needed.
AFTER: Mayor John Smith said the city budget has a $20 million deficit.
BEFORE: You should cut out all the extra and unnecessary words from every story you edit.
AFTER: Cut unnecessary words from stories.
