Any reporter who’s covered anything from a football game to a golf match – or anyone who has even just watched sports on TV, which means virtually all of us – has heard it.
It’s the sound that makes sportswriters want to alternately cringe or upchuck, a sound to be dreaded like fingernails scraping a chalkboard.
What is it?
The dreaded sports cliché. (Cue the horror movie music.)
Yes, we’ve all heard them, and we’ve all rolled our eyes when we’ve heard them. For some reason, the athletes and coaches of the planet seem to have gotten together and decided that they must speak in such clichés, no matter how tired, stale or just plain irritating they are.
What’s worse, many sportscasters, professionals who are paid to talk about sports and ought to know better, seem to want to reach for the same lazy, dull phrases, the ones we’ve all heard, oh, about 10,000 times or so.
For the beginning sportswriter, the lesson is clear: DON’T use such clichés in your story. Try your best in interviews and press conferences to elicit quotes that are not clichés.
And if, despite your best efforts, the jock you're interviewing insists on using such clichés anyway? Close your eyes, plug your ears and begin to chant, over and over again, “I’m not listening to you, I'm not listening to you, I'm not....”
You get the idea.
Here, then, are 10 of the worst sports clichés in the business, ones you should never put in a sports story, along with some suggested sarcastic rejoinders.
1. We need to just play our game.
Oh really? Were you going to play someone else’s?
2. He gives 110 percent.
Hmmm. How is that possible, exactly?
3. Defense wins championships.
And what is offense? Chopped liver?
4. She leaves it all out there on the field.
Well, I hope she cleans up after herself.
5. Those teams match up well.
Maybe they should start dating.
6. He takes care of the football.
Good. Those things are expensive.
7. He's their go-to guy.
Going to where, exactly?
8. They have to step up and make plays.
Given that this is a game, I guess that would be a good idea.
9. They're going for back-to-back championships.
Oh really? I thought after winning it all last year they'd strive for a mediocre season this year.
10. He has his game face on.
Yeah, and it’s pretty scary.
