Most editors will tell you that beginning writers need to use fewer adjectives and stronger, more interesting verbs. Here's why.
Adjectives
There's an old rule in the writing business - show, don't tell. The problem with adjectives is that they don't show us anything. In other words, they rarely if ever evoke visual images in readers' minds, and are just a lazy substitute for writing good, effective description.
Look at the following two examples:
The man was fat.
The man's belly hung over his belt buckle and there was sweat on his forehead as he climbed the stairs.
See the difference? The first sentence is vague and lifeless. It doesn't really create a picture in your mind.
The second sentence, on the other hand, evokes images through just a few descriptive phrases - the belly hanging over the belt, the sweaty forehead. Notice that the word "fat" isn't used. It isn't needed. We get the picture.
News stories often don't have the space for long passages of description, but even just a few key words can convey to readers a sense of a place or a person.
The other problem with adjectives is that they can unwittingly transmit a reporter's bias or feelings. Look at the following sentence:
The plucky demonstrators protested the heavy-handed government policies.
See how just two adjectives - plucky and heavy-handed - have effectively conveyed how the reporter feels about the story. That's fine for an opinion column, but not for an objective news story.
Verbs
Editors like the use of verbs because they convey action and give a story a sense of movement and momentum. But too often writers use tired, overused verbs:
He hit the ball.
She ate the candy.
They walked up the hill.
Hit, ate and walked - booooring! How about this:
He swatted the ball.
She gobbled the candy.
They trudged up the hill.
See the difference? So get out your thesaurus and hunt down some bright, fresh verbs that will make your next story sparkle.
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